Confusion in the Pits..

New York, NY- Trader considers calling it quits when he ziggs and the market zaggs. " I just don't understand it!" says, Toby Zimmer a NY commodity trader, " I'm usually a zagg type of person, but something told me to zigg..and it was the wrong call, I got beat over the head". The bulk of traders, Toby's co-workers, moved with the market which was a strong zagg motion, yet he zigged. " I think I just need a vacation" says Toby, "I think i'll just have to think twice before I do any zigging".

A pic of me at Arrowhead in Kansas City...

I'm wearing a red Chiefs T-shirt.

Come on already..!

Sid-its been about six years since Alpha Centauri came out. Make a new one bitch! My computer can't even run AC because its running XP. So, Sid... get off your ass and force the monkeys at Fraxis Games to write an updated version. You'd get my 50 bucks.

New World Order...

I've been long NFLX for a while now and have no complaints. I don't even use NFLX but many of my friends do and they swear by it. Kids need cartoons and alot of the small budgetr films aren't available at the local video store or Blockbuster. Blockbuster does have fifty copies of Irobot ( what a piece of crap!) but few foreign and independent films. BBI is trading at about $8 and has an EPS $-7.81 and a cash position of $145 million, not bad but they also have debts of over $1.10 Billion (!). NFLX has about $170 million in cash and no debt and a growing revenue. And they just broke a revenue estimate on the upside. NFLX rose $2.05 to close at $19.01 on massive volume of 11.8 million shares.
After Monday's closing bell, the online DVD rental company said it earned $5.7 million, or 9 cents a share, compared with a profit of $2.9 million, or 4 cents a share, in the same period last year.
The company previously had forecast a loss in the range of $2.2 million to $7.2 million. Instead, it was able to record a profit, thanks to lower-than-expected marketing costs, better-than-expected cost management and lower-than-expected stock-based compensation expenses.
Excluding stock-based compensation expenses, Netflix would have earned $9.1 million, or 14 cents a share, in the latest period. Revenue rose 37% to $164.5 million. It's only a matter of time before BBI falls through the floor or get bought out by some deep pocekt guy wanting access to the US markets, like Carlos Slim (Telemex).

New on FOX.. Internet Sex police...

The internet, police and sexy girls with handcuffs, whips and search warrants. Dudda badda dudda..internetsexpolice...(soundtrack) Half naked women storm private homes in the search of internet criminals! And when the perp has been cuffed..thats when things get hot..hotter that a RISC chip! Check local listings.

Wall Street History

Morgan Bank Bombing
Nearly a century late, just before noon on Wednesday, September 16, 1920, a horse-drawn wagon covered with a canvas tarpaulin pulled to a stop on the north side of Wall Street across from the House of Morgan (shown above) . The driver abandoned the wagon and blended in with the lunchtime crowd before the dynamite-packed wagon exploded. Debris ricocheted through the canyons of the Financial District and shattered windows as far as half a mile away.

The attack killed 38 people and injured more than 300. Junius Morgan, grandson of company founder J. Pierpont Morgan, suffered only minor injuries to his hand. J.P. "Jack" Morgan, Jr., then president of the bank, was traveling in Scotland at the time of the attack. When he returned, he found his building pock-marked from the explosion. These marks can still be seen on the facade of the Morgan building today.

On Wall Street....

Armed guards beg for order to shoot stupid tourists. "I think they are British or German..I can't tell" Says Alan Smith -armed sniper, "but they are very anoying. So naturally we wish to kill them." It is true that on Wall Street its very croweded with tourists. " Its so crowded, its insane. I'm not the activities director! don't talk to me! Don't ask me to hold your camera !!--fuckers!" Bloated English and German tourists seem the norm. Requests to
"shoot to kill" have been very numerous. So far no orders have been approved.

Potter you ain't...

Ok, you are in your late twenties. You live with your mom. You jerk off to all sorts of bizare internet porn (yea, the really weird stuff)..And you've seen wisdom of drawing a Bolt on your forehead. Harry Potter you ain't. As much as you wish and as much as you drink, you will never become Potter. Any guy with Potter's bolt on his forehead isn't cool but disturbed. If you haven't sensed it, girls are frightened of you. And rightly so..Yes I know Snape is a little bitch, but you can't help because.. so are you....

These are blank sell tickets. If I get an order to sell, these would be used. Its a very important part of the process...

Al Gore's TV Network to Make Debut Monday !

NEW YORK (AP) -- Much of the talk around Al Gore's new Current TV network has been broadly philosophical, like the former vice president's statement that "we want to be the television home page for the Internet generation." With its debut Monday, Current TV will be judged by the same mundane standards as other networks - on whether its programming can hold a viewer's interest. Lets face facts..this won't happen. Based on material previewed on its Web site, Current at first glance seems like a hipper, more irreverent version of traditional television newsmagazines. Most of its programming will be in "pods," roughly two to seven minutes long, covering topics like jobs, technology, spirituality and current events. An Internet-like on-screen progress bar will show the pod's length. "pods" what the fuk are you talking about?! What a bunch of losers. I'm sure Al will talk about how he invented the internet.

Some of the secrets in Washington DC are best left alone.

Washingtion DC- The Bureau of Stastics has determined through vigorous stastical analysis that men that own a Porsche get "the girl" more often that any other brand. "I took a test car out to get a milkshake" recounts Dr. Alex Miller, " and these girls showed up in bikinis at the drivethrough and then it was like they were pushing it into my face. I had the redolent flora of youth in my beard all afternoon." There wasn't a single US auto manufactuer on the top five list, except for the Segway. It seems its popular with the Hippie chick-potato car crowd. Senators were angry that this data was released to the press prior to being briefed about its conclusions, more bad new for a limping US auto industry. And due to this report Porsche dealers are reporting backlogs of about twenty weeks.

New to WSPH

WSPH would like to welcome a new addition to its staff. Mark Nokes will undertake all research relation to Outer Space, NASA, Aliens, the Cosmos and anything scientific or requires math. He graduated from Valley High class of 82'. And attended Kansas State Univesity for about seven years without getting a degree. His hobbies include "Dungens & Dragons, comic books, chocolate doughnuts, watching old episodes of Snorks, BJ and the Bear and internet porn".

After some research..

Man I couldn't even find this fucking place! So I asked my ex-girlfriend's brother, Mark. He's really weird and stuff and knows alot about space, Star Trek and UFO shit. He's even got a life sized Yoda in his room. It smells . Wendy, my ex, says that their mom caught Mark naked ontop of the Yoda a few years back and took it away. But he freaked out and became violent so they gave it back. He still lives at home, even though he's 38 or 39 years old. Anyway while I was on the couch with my ex, my hands all over that little tight ass, Mark made this diagram. And I couldn't find anything about about an army force or whatever that clown said. So this researcher says that Giggles is full of shit man! My research proves it!

Long Beach, NY- Party clown, Giggles, a town favorite, had a severe panic attack which exploded into a full blown schizophrenic episode. When police arrived they enetered the back yard to discover crying children and Giggles waving a large knife and yelling at them to, "suck my big blistered white cock!". It has been learned that Giggles had not taken his prescribed 800 mg of Teratrizine. "it stops the voices. In the paranoid form of this disorder, he develops delusions of persecution or personal grandeur. At times he thinks himself to be the supreme commader of the 5th army in low orbit around planet four in the Dranutuke system", says Dr. Baum, Giggles court appointed physican. Giggles will be kept for observation at Bronx city psychiatric hospital for at least three days.

Lousy lover bags pornstar

Fort Lee, NJ- Adam Simpson, VP at Verizon Corp., left his wife and two kids last week to live with his pornstar girlfriend. His wife of eleven years, Emily Simpson, holding back tears, was surprised because, " adam was soo lousy in the bedroom, I mean at times I would tell him, 'why bother'. I mean he was hung like a circus midget." Neighbor and co-worker, Terry Maller, says," we in the area knew that he was a lousy lay, his wife would drone on about it at BBQs. And something about his need of a finger or two up his ass. We haven't figured that out yet. Even the guys down on the shipping floor haven't figured that one out. But he was raised in California, so maybe he picked something up there."

Girlfriends..

I've got a great idea for a new TV show, Girlfriends. It stars Christina Applegate and an assortment of co-stars and weekly guests, all girls. No script. Just a cozy couch, maybe a few candles, well placed kisses and explicit nudity and 'sexual situations'. We could get show sponsorships from Duracell, Himmel Plugs and Solora exotic oils. The cutest and most promising hollywood starlets would be featured as weekly guests. The viwewing demographics would be very profitable, college educated males with gobs of disposable income.

Gay Army? Sounds like a good idea..!

Creap, cruel ? I love it! The web is full of Anti- Walmart sites. Of course it begs the question. Why such a big deal about a Wal-Mart comming into the area? Protester: "low prices are destroying America!" Wow! my econ professor wouldn't agree. Where is Prof Kirchner when you need him!?

Robert from Carson CA says," hope those who have the unfavorable opinion of Wal-Mart decide to wake up, spend a few cents more and shop elsewhere. If WM sales start to decline it will be a sign of good things to come." What the fuk is this idiot talking about?! The people who need to wakeup are my neighbors. Here in NYC the prices of just basic stuff is sky high. Not " a few cents more". If you kids haven't figured it out one of America's greatest strengths is the "power of choice". If a Wal-Mart moves to your neighborhood and you don't like it, then DON'T SHOP THERE! The shops in the surrounding areas don't die because Wal-Mart comes to town. They die because the shoppers have exercised their choice and chose to shop at Wal-Mart. It's not shoppers that don't want a Wal-Mart, its Labor/Unions that don't want a Wal-mart. So, basically they wan't to deny me and everyone else a choice of where to shop. This of course all to protect the "little guy".

Wal-Mart had sales of over $70,000,000,000 the last qtr. So, it would seem alot of people in America and elsewhere have made the choice to shop at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart needs to move a few stores to New York. If for no other reason than to make me happy and piss off my liberal, ponytail (but balding), quasi-communist neighbors.

Today in NYC history..

It was twentyfive years ago today that the Gay Army landed in Manhattan through full frontal and rear assults. A NYPD officer, Pat McCain, recounts, "they were all over the freakin' place, clogging up the streets and subways, ass cheaks all up and down 5th Ave, and the glitter! What a fuckin mess!" However the Army's advancement was stopped cold in its tracks as it came upon the newly opened "Disco Pants & Haircuts" Superstore. With the notice of "50% off all whigs" thick in the air, Gay Army commanders knew all was lost. Sunburn, low glitter supplies, broken heels and 3ft long pink whigs at such incredibly low prices proved too much for the invaders. They brokeup and scattered below 23rd street, freshly teased whigs and hot new fashions in tow.

A serious problem..

I was at "friday's" in Penn station last weekend, on my way to LI, and I ordered a Knob Creek and Coke. Much to my horror it wasn't Coke but infact Pepsi. What is the world comming to?! I swollowed the drink as if it was a cold three day old coffee with an ash in it. (Hey, I paid eight bucks fer it!) I can't think of a single booze that tastes better getting bruised with Pepsi. Pepsi doesn't bruise IT KILLS! I know our Armed forces are streched a little thin now over Iraq, Afganistan, Korea, Northern Pakistan, Mars, but can't we use a few divisions to confiscate all this pepsi-swill, before someone inocent, like a kid orders a rum and Coke, and gets a rum and Pepsi. My god man, think of the terror!

Return if found..

Jeff says that someone that came through our offices last week may have left with a few items that blonged to WSPH of jeff. If accidently smoked it would be identified through its complex yet very rewarding charistics. Provençal greens, with their shimmery copper color and effortless way of quenching your demons, are the perfect pour for hot summer nights, cool dinners al fresco and for languid afternoons in the sun, and just gettin' fuckin' retarded. Château de Mexico's blusher packs more flavor and power than most — the mélange of summer skin and electro- juice will have you smiling in no time.

Save your money boys..the south will rise again !!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Senate Democrats challenged the White House on Friday to provide "documents" stemming from
U.S. Supreme Court nominee John Roberts' work as an attorney in the first Bush administration and lawmakers announced his confirmation hearings would begin on Sept. 6.
The White House had declared the documents the Democrats want off-limits, but Democratic lawmakers said the Senate Judiciary Committee would need them to scrutinize Roberts properly. Like the documents that describe a young Mr. Byrd as a Klan recuiter? In the early 1940s, a politically ambitious butcher from West Virginia named Bob Byrd recruited 150 of his friends and associates to form a chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. After Byrd had collected the $10 joining fee and $3 charge for a robe and hood from every applicant, the "Grand Dragon" for the mid-Atlantic states came down to tiny Crab Orchard, W.Va., to officially organize the chapter. As Byrd recalls now, the Klan official, Joel L. Baskin of Arlington, Va., was so impressed with the young Byrd's organizational skills that he urged him to go into politics. "The country needs young men like you in the leadership of the nation," Baskin said. Despite his many achievements, however, the venerated Byrd has never been able to fully erase the stain of his association with one of the most reviled hate groups in the nation's history.

Nazi Skinheads..(um, I don't get it)

Ok, let me get this straight. You are a Nazi Skinhead, an English nazi skinhead. You shave your head, get drunk, get unemployed, chain smoke, wear leather boots and/or pants and live with other men. In America we would call you fags, in California- queens. My great grandpa, a real nazi, who was shot down over northern france, with a broken foot , killed a few frenchmen, four days later made it back through the german lines, only to be shot by his own side(those silly germans) would have used a less traditional term such as homos.

Lost & Found

NEW YORK - An 45-year-old Hotel manager, Terry Cooper, has found a pair of pants that belong to Sen. Edward Kennedy. "yea, i was walking through the parking garage downstairs and i found these pants and an empty gin bottle in the pocket. That was the give away, except for their size. And they had a overpowering smell of dried catpiss. I watch alot of C-SPAN in the office So I know enough about the senator to say these are his". A spokesperson from Sen. Kennedy's office can neither confirm or deny the autheticity of the 'pants'. But did say that the empty gin bottle was one of the senator's 'brands'.

Kennedy Questions Roberts on Civil Rights

WASHINGTON - After days of Democratic deference to John Roberts, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy said Thursday that documents made public to date indicate the Supreme Court nominee holds a "rather cramped view of the Voting Rights Act." The question is, more cramped than Kennedy's pants? So we asked the senator's tailor, Sheldon Kleinman. "Oh, dear yes the fabrics can only withstand so much pressure and yes ofcourse its a little tight in there. We take em' out a few inches a year, but the senator's gut always catches up. The senator is always loosing his pants or ripping out the back of them, or spills and stains of unknown origin, good customer".

Money, money..money

As head of the DNC Howard Dean is doing his best to raise the necessary funds to win back the house, senate and White House. His method(s) may seem a tad unconventional, like every week or so he says something really dumb or nonsensical. He has aleniated some of the DNC's biggest supporters, checkbook supporters. And they do need the money. The DNC offices in New York are simply falling apart.

Jeff was working on a report..

about Alexander Hamilton. He's a very thorough researcher. (He brings in the best damm brownies!)