You can bet this guy is a fukin' perv...

Zacarias' 72 virgins are gonna' be dudes..

ALEXANDRIA, Va. - Confessed al-Qaida conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui disrupted his sentencing trial with insults and epithets Tuesday and was barred from the courtroom while a jury is selected to decide whether he is put to death or imprisoned for life. Despite his French citizenship, he said in French-accented English: "I'm not French. ... I stand here as a Muslim only. I do not stand here with a nation of homosexual crusaders." Although he has had 'numerous' relationships with fellow inmates and remains a founding member of the 'Tuesday Nite Baby Oil Team', Mr. Moussaoui denies any knowledge of 'homosexuality' or its 'methods' or 'themes'. A casual inspection of his cell would reveal back issues of 'Boy!', 'Oh, boy!', 'Weekend Plumber' and...um..you get the picture.

Al-qaida and homosexual behavior have a long and proud tradition. Men living in the mountains with other men. The possibility of having a loving relationship is an effective tool used in recruiting efforts.

On sale at your favorite stores

M,L,XL,XXL

$19.99

Ms.Slurpie 2002

Remember when the French ruled the world? No, I don't either, but they tried to rule "pairs figure skating'-but failed. Naturally. Marie Reine Le Gougne, the French broad with the mink, short-changed the skaters from Canada, because she had 'orders' from the president of the French Skating Federation to give the Russians the highest score, because the Russian judge(s) would do the same for the 'French team' in another iced event. All hell broke loose. The French judges were taken out of Salt Lake City and sent back to Paris. Ms. Le Gougne was suspended for three years, even after displying her deep throat skills to the judges. Many in the skating world were shocked because many figured that Ms. Le Gougne could "slurp" her way out of this 'problem'. "She gratuated from the Sorbonne, so of course her oral skills are exemplary, very important in matters of diplomacy" said Jaques Monefft, professor of international policy. Many thought she may recieve a lifetime ban from the ISU (International Skating Union), but recieved only 3 years. She may be the author of the 'sucking' sound Ross Perot was talking about. It wasn't comming from Mexico, but from France!

Fixing an olympic event and getting caught through examination of video, on late nite television and sentenced for three whole years. The fix is in.

And I got the Jacket to Prove it !!

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is wearing Jacket style #3401 in 'lite olive'. Produced by Members Only between 1989 and 1993. This piece is an example of the "David Hasselhoff" collection, a favorite of geeks, losers and child molesters.

Still a Member..

Men's Wearhouse Inc. (NYSE:MW) denied reports that it was the "offical" clothier of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran. President Ahmadinejad has shown the world in his brief tenure that he's a puppet, posses no political skills and is the worst dresser- four of Five homosexual fashion consultants say so..! (Yes..even worse that those African dictators that we see from time to time wearing the orange and brown 100% polyester shirts.)
"Oh, my yes..its terrible" says Artie Halfwitz, master tailor at Barney's New York. "They are cut too long, too big and what's with the Member's Only Jacket?" A spokesperson for Men's Warehouse ,Todd Raye, said that "We aren't the offical clothier to the President {of Iran}. Our store in Tehran was burned down months ago, in celebration of the new Muslim holy year. And we have never been a retailer of "Member's Only" products.
When a member of our WSPO staff contacted an offical in Tehran we were told, "many people are very proud of the president's good fashion. And he has never owned a jacket from Memeber's Only".

Gas Alarm

WASHINGTON - Eight senators were among 200 people who were held in a Capitol parking garage Wednesday night after a security sensor indicated the presence of nerve gas in their office building. Lawmakers, aides and other personnel were evacuated to the nearby West Legislative Garage shortly after 6:45 p.m. EST as police conducted several other tests before concluding that it was a false alarm. Capitol police were surprised to learn later in the day that Ted Kennedy had just been in the area and Mr. Kennedy is a well known source 'gas' that has triggered alarms since their installation over three years ago. "If we had known he was in the area sooner, these people wouldn't have had to be detained." said Capitol Police Sgt. Thomas Slagg. In areas of the capitol and senate that are frequented by the Senator, the sensors have been adjusted. "I'm not sure if its all the booze seeping out of his skin or his chronic turbulent farting or some combination, but he's doing something to set off my machines" said Terry Smith or Acme Alarm.

Chlamydia Strain Infecting Men

WASHINGTON -- A particularly bad strain of chlamydia not usually seen in this country appears to be slowly spreading among gay and bisexual men. Called LGV chlamydia, this sexually transmitted disease has caused a worrisome outbreak in Europe, especally in France, where some countries have confirmed dozens of cases. Diagnoses confirmed by U.S. health officials still are low, just 27. Chlamydia, aka "Pussy itch Syndrome", caused by bacteria, is among the most common sexually transmitted diseases. As many as 3 million Americans a year may become infected with common strains, best known for causing infertility in women and spineless infantile behavior in men. LGV can infect both sexes, although new cases diagnosed so far are among men having sex with men or primates.

Spring Lineup changes..

New York, NY-- Due to recent developments, The WB has chosen to not air, "Mohammed's bodyguard". It was written as love story between two men, one just hapens to be a prophet. It was slated to air Thursday nights between 'Reba!" and the WB's new hit show "Slutz" or the alternative titled, "The Slamhound Experiment".

Crisis at the White House

Washingtion DC-- The President called an emergency meeting this morning to address developments in throughout the Arab world. The main topic of course, "How did the Danes out manoeuvre The US in really pissing off the Arab world"? Many in the White House and the American press thought the the US had this distinction "locked up". Though brilliant advances in publishing and satire, Denmark has outplayed the US and the world. So biting where the Danish 'comments', a few French newspapers simply reprinted the now famous 'cartoons' for public discussion and many in the Arab street are burning French flags too..and calling for the "destruction of France". Israel still holds the top spot, but the US may now occupy a distant fourth. The US fourth?! And behind France..?? MERDE !!
If the US want's to remein relevant in the world it needs to regain its position in the Arab world.

Muslim World logic...

Ok, so some tiny Danish newspaper printed a cartoon of Muhammad with a bomb in his turban. Who do this fuckin Danish think they are? Next thing we know, they will have drawings of Jesus picking his nose. We shouldn't try to understand the "muslim point of view", because I don't think anyone really cares, well I know I don't. And of course seeing images of the 'arab street' freaking out because of something so trivial is..well..funny. The Muslim world needs to incorporate some of the better elements of Western Civilization, other than roll-on deoderant. "Letters to the Editor" would be a good start. "Fuck em' if they can't take a joke" or the more popular American saying, "Fuck em'".