Washingtion,DC-- In a series of questions from reporters yesterday at the White House, Donald Rumsfeld couldn't explain how the American arsenal of powerful psychics couldn't warn authorities of the destruction of New Orleans, in the wake of hurricane Katrina. "We are reviewing all communications, including emails from all members of the Psychic branch of the military." Said Mr. Rumsfeld. "We weren't surprised about Ms. Cleo. In my opinion she's useless. But even Po (of Telletubby fame) failed to 'see anything'! This was a shock to many of us."
A spokesperson from John Edwards, host of 'Crossing Over' on the Sci-Fi Network, called our office and offered an explaination. "Earlier this year Mr. Edwards proclaimed that there would be a series of strong storms hitting Florida and the surrounding area." said the spokesperson. "Mr. Edwards was on vacation in Bora Bora when hurricane Katrina became an issue. Since he was on the otherside of the world, he couldn't be expected to perceive anything, because all of his psychic powers would have been weakened due to the great distance. And there is alot of negative energy between Florida and Bora Bora. It would have been impossible."
When we heard of Mr. Edward's excuse for failure, we offered another question to his spokesperson. Last December Mr. Edwards claimed to forsee the Tsunami disaster in Indonesia. Wasn't Indonesia on the otherside of the world of Mr. Edwards when he made this claim? Is Mr. Edwards simply loosing his power? The spokesperson offered no explanation but did promise to contact us with an update.
Thousands dead or missing. An entire city in ruins. Billions in property damage. New Orleans wasn't called by one single psychic. How can the Untited States be expected to protect its assets and citizens when our first line of defence is proving to be so powerless?
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