Ok, you are in your late twenties. You live with your mom. You jerk off to all sorts of bizare internet porn (yea, the really weird stuff)..And you've seen wisdom of drawing a Bolt on your forehead. Harry Potter you ain't. As much as you wish and as much as you drink, you will never become Potter. Any guy with Potter's bolt on his forehead isn't cool but disturbed. If you haven't sensed it, girls are frightened of you. And rightly so..Yes I know Snape is a little bitch, but you can't help because.. so are you....
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