Behold!

New York,NY--During a morning walk through Central Park, An Upper East Side mother, while pushing her stroller, was accosted by David Morris, 44, of Apple Valley, MN. Mr. Morris was reported to be dressed as a wizard, complete with 'staff'. "He asked me if I wanted a moustache ride", says Sara Tegg, another Central Park victim. "He seemed like a creep, so I notified the police." NYPD on horseback cornered Mr. Morris near the Bethesda, hiding under some bushes. "We knew something was wrong with this guy." said Frank Rollins, of the NYPD. "He said that we couldn't arrest him, because he was a level 8, Quam trained master wizard, what ever the fuck that was supposed to mean. And he also said that he would protect me from evil spells, If I let him go, so I shot him with my tazer. After that, this guy's wizard day was over." A rollerblader, Shamzarah, 26, of the Bronx, said that "they shot that man, the wizardman, with some electrical shit. He shitted his pants or somthing, cause' when they took him away you could smell, like a funky shit smell. Damn!? What kind of wizard is dat?!"

The sister of Mr. Morris, Rita, said via telephone from Burnsville, MN. That her brother suffers from psychological problems and that he was in NYC to see the sights. And it would seem to offer its residents 'moustache rides'.