New York, NY-- The NYPD are on the look out for Trey Funk, a bond trader at Jeffries & Co., 110 Wall Street, and amateur ventriloquist. "He made me in his own image, and for what? He said it was to entertain the kids, the old people, the ones that cared. Lies..all lies!" said, Trey (the dummy). Trey was made almost ten years ago and it seems things we good for a while and then a few years later, the relationship changed. "If he had a bad day at the office, I was scared- the drinking, the cocaine and the sodomy! I shudder to remember! He said he would kill me if I ever went to the police, but I didn't know what else to do..!" Capt. Seth Thomas, of the NYPD, said," I've never seen anything like this before. We once had a guy who liked to catch and screw squirrels in Central Park. I shot him out of a fucken tree. But this guy Mr. Funk, screwing a puppet, he's an original. It shouldn't surprise me, I mean he is a bond trader."
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