New York, NY-- We recieved a few requests to investigate the actual posibility of a real human, american or indian, working in Cingular's Customer Service Center. After weeks of being on hold, numerous unanswered faxes and ignored emails, we think we figured it out. It seems the Cingular Help network was the brainchild of Dale Franklin, aka Paindrone, a sadomasochist of some fame. "Its a very elegant design, meant to prevent any customer from actually entering the 'human phone call center'"says Roger Blume, ex- consultant and engineer for Cingular, "Dale constructed it like a Mobius Band. A never ending series of questions, such as your cell phone number, billing zip code, and a few others. All designed to keep one in and moving through the Automated System- towards nowhere. It doesn't end. It's brilliant. And he worked cheap too. After getting his nerves stapled and a few gallons of stale urine, he was in bliss."
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