Queens,NY--A queens man was charged for sexually assaulting a 73-year old woman. Robert McKeon,22, of Bayside, stood accused of trying to rape the elderly woman in a park, as she was doing Tai Chi exercises. Mr. McKeon blames a 'bad trip' while on psychedelic mushrooms as being responsible for his really bad judgement. His lawyer, Stephen Murphy said, "He was in Manhattan doing drugs with his friends just an hour before he drove back to Queens on Wednesday and then tried to throw himself in front of a car and later attacked the woman. It's obviously a perverted act." And then blah, blah..Jeez, this kid and his lawyer are full of bullshit! Has anyone ever heard of a friend on shrooms attacking somebody? Well I haven't either. At low doses, hallucinatory effects occur, including but not limited to, walls that seem to breathe, a vivid enhancement of colors and the animation of organic shapes. (how I was introduced to Splungy, the magic belly-button elf). And at higher doses, the experiences tend to be less social and more 'ethnogenic', often catalyzing intense spiritual self-actualizating feelings. As far as I know attacking and dry humping old ladies isn't a side effect of 'bad shrooms'. It may be the side effect of a low IQ, harbored fantasies of geriatric pussy (ugh!) and a night mixed with a few eightballs of cocaine.
"The evidence in this case is overwhelming as the facts are grotesque", says Assistant DA Eric Rosenbaum. "He was pulled out of the bushes half-dressed, he gave a complete confession."
The WSPO is willing to bet Mr. McKeon kills himself before going to trial. He seems to be a loser who likes really old broads and make up stories. The kids in his neighborhood are making fun of him, they simply have to be. I know I would.
No comments:
Post a Comment